A Celebrity Meets a Rock Legend

Posted by Middleby on Oct 15

It was a simpler time. Gas was cheaper, theWalllounge.com was happy, healthy, and not days away from closing its doors forever, and Scott Baio had a hit show on TV. It was July 2007. (May god strike you down if you don’t think “Scott Baio is 45… and Single” was not a hit show). Though the economy was not at its strongest, there were no talks of government bailouts to worry the masses. However, as if sensing the impending downward spiral of the nations economy (or at least people’s sanity) the powers that be decided it would most definitely be wise to form some sort of a bailout… a ROCK Bailout known simply as… ROCKLAHOMA. Never before had there been assembled a finer list of rock superstars, and fit, slim rock superstars at that. You just can’t argue with a bill that included Quiet Riot, Slaughter, Poison, Faster Pussycat, Skid Row, Warrant, (just to name a few) and of course… the greatest band on the bill… DOKKEN. The Rock Gods descended upon Pryor, Oklahoma the weekend of July 12th 2007 and I was lucky enough to witness the on… and off stage spectacle of the greatest gathering of mullets anyone could ever have the privilege of being a part of.

Though I lived merely an hour or so north of the Kansas/Oklahoma border, I had never made the trip to the Sooner State. I guess you could say that I would have SOONER just stayed in Kansas than anything else… (Oh come on… it wouldn’t be Bickham review if there weren’t a TERRIBLE pun made at some point in time) I can honestly say, it was pretty much everything I had expected it to be… rather desolate, extremely hot, and chances were extremely likely that each person you set eyes on had either

A. A Mullet

Or

B. A Gun.

You could probably also safely add missing teeth, a tattoo, and a gut to that list. Needless to say, it was intimidating to be in the presence of such upstanding members of society.

I arrived to Pryor on Saturday afternoon to the sounds of Warrant screeching out “Cherry Pie” and had it not been for the abundant B.O smell that stung my nose when I got out of my car, I would have gathered in enough oxygen to belt out the chorus so freaking spot on, that people would have actually thought I was Jani Lane (who had recently been fired from the band, only to be brought back… and fired again only a month or so ago).

Alas, the foul stench emanating from the massive crowd who quite certainly had been rocking non stop for three days without a shower caused me to instead meet up with my radio station friends in the Crew section of the grounds where our air conditioned trailer sat. God bless being a celebrity.

Several beers, and a few shots of Patron later, it was decided we should make our way to the side of the stage to ensure we could get upstairs to the VIP section to see Don Dokken strut his stuff as the second to last act to play the Saturday stage.

To get to the side of the stage, we needed to pass by the porta-potties for the common folks in the general camping area. I shall not put into writing the experience of walking past those dens of defecation, but I’ll put it to you this way… Nearly 100,000 people were estimated to have attended Rocklahoma that weekend… and these were their main portals of poop. I heard horror stories of shortages of toilet paper, and piles of waste so high, that some folks actually were going in between their tents instead (I kid you not).

After what seemed like an eternity, we finally made our way to the side of the stage where Winger was preparing to go on. The sun was starting to set, and the crowd of loyal rockers were bathed in a rosy glow… and that is when I noticed the most enormous man I have ever encountered. He was seated (or more accurately “Plopped” in an area most likely meant for three people. He wore a red shirt, and a pair of jeans that could easily be a family size tent. Hanging around his neck was a fairly professional looking camera. In the setting sun… he slumbered. I could tell that it must have been a long day of rocking, drinking and eating for him… not to mention the sheer amount of energy it takes to transport that amount of weight from place to place. This man had most certainly earned a quick cat nap.



Bickham’s friend. Apparently our “celebrity” cannot afford to send pictures from his cell phone to his email address, so he took a picture of his phone with his digital camera. Hence the high quality.

Suddenly, the stage lights dimmed, a few guitar notes pierced the night air prompting wild cheers from the Winger Faithful in the audience… and awakening our obese friend who threw up a single rock fist. I knew this was a moment he had waited for all day. Winger was finally coming on stage… he had his seat, his camera, and his rock fist. He was ready. This was a moment he would remember the rest of his tubby life, and I knew he wasn’t going to miss it for the world. I glanced back at him once more as he slowly put his fist down and… promptly fell back to sleep.

Quite honestly, that is all I can remember from the Winger performance. I was actually more tuned into scoring free beers from people back stage and vying for a good spot to see Dokken from (who would come on after Winger).

An hour or so later once Winger had cleared the stage, it was finally Dokken time. From my spot above the band on the side of the stage I watched these heroes of rock perform all their hits and urged the crowd to “Never Unchain The Night.” There was definitely no way I was going to tell this band that the love was gone… and clearly it was not as the throngs of fans in the crowd indicated to an awfully smelly degree.

Being the candid people person that he is, Don talked with the crowd between songs and made us all feel as if we were members of the Dokken family. At some point in the night though, after playing one of their less popular songs (impossible I know… but I actually don’t recall which song it was.) Don got on the mic and told the crowd, “That song is about doing drugs and getting drunk.” Much to my surprise, the crowd of Oklahomans didn’t respond with resounding cheers of any kind… they just kind of sat there as if they didn’t understand what Don had said. I know it’s a rare thing to have someone from Oklahoma not understand something… and this caught Don off guard too. He mustered a bit of a chuckle and started to announce what his next selection would be… but out of nowhere Mick Brown (Dokken’s legendary drummer) piped in with, “Oh come on, you guys can’t tell me you haven’t been drunk or fucking high before!!” As if Don’s little aside wasn’t awkward enough… this comment literally came out of nowhere and was an awful lot like this…

I snapped a few pictures with my phone and I’m pretty sure called Middleby or shot a text or two to Cox about Breaking the Chains and Unchaining the night before my boss and I made our way down to the ramp where Dokken would be making their way back to their tour bus after their performance. It was crew only, so when they came out there weren’t throngs of adoring fans but several crew members did ask for a picture or two with a very sweaty and out of breath Don Dokken. He hurried them through a few snaps and I realized that my co-worker Hank had his digital camera with him, and as Don made his way down the ramp I jumped up and said, “Don, just one more picture buddy! You guys were awesome!” I put my arm around Don as Hank snapped the picture. I actually haven’t laid eyes on the picture yet… but I do remember Don’s face as I put my arm around him… and it was one of utter disgust… awesome!

Any further reviewing of this Rocklahoma event would pale in comparison to meeting Don Dokken… so I won’t even attempt it. Actually… there really isn’t that much to review anyway since I didn’t stick around for the Sunday performances. Instead I close with the best advice I can give to you. Even if it seems like a great idea… even if your friends urge you into doing it… even if god himself comes down and tells you to… NEVER Unchain the Night.

I bid the wall a fond farewell, and I thank it for all its memories.

Story Submitted By Celebrity Jason Bickham


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