Twat's Farewell Address

Posted by Middleby on Oct 16

I’m not really sure where to start or where to finish. Ok, I know where to finish. I have been giving you kids facials for the past year and a half.

I knew this day would come eventually, but now its a reality. In a few short days, we’ll be closing the doors on The Wall Lounge. Sometimes when you love something, you have to let it go.

I’m sad to see it go, but it was time. Site traffic was down, we were over-run with spam, and I’ve recycled so many jokes I was almost thinking about bringing back the “its time to dance” joke.

But let’s not focus on the negative. Let’s think about the positive. This site was a lot of fun to run and a lot of fun to write. Sure, sometimes it got tedious, but it was still more fun that actually doing work. We did some really fun shit, opening our doors with a review of the Huey Lewis concert, back when we were young, impressionable, West Bend virgins, and continued through concerts, Wall Expansion projects, Super Bowl parties, wing challenges, quiz challenges, countless movie reviews, and hours of time wasted at work. We saw the Bears reach the Super Bowl, we saw the White Sox win a World Series, we saw Jerry O’Connell fail on dozens of sitcoms, we saw Ric Flair retire, we saw Don Dokken in concert, we saw Ryan Reynolds become a major star; we did a lot of fun shit. And really that’s what’s important here. It was somewhere to go to take a break from work and talk about inane subjects with your friends. It was an excuse to get together, watch bad movies, or go on a road trip. And that’s what the site was really about, giving us an excuse to hang out, talk, and generally be stupid. It was a way to keep in touch with friends who moved to Utah, Omaha, or worse – the suburbs. Now, we won’t have that. We might be forced to actually hang out with each other in real life. That would be weird.

Really, part of the down turn of the site was the fact we never got together any more. And when we didn’t get together, we didn’t come up with awesome ideas for The Wall. So maybe that is the lesson here. Maybe we should make it a point to get together. It’s easy to let your friends fall behind your work, your family, your significant other, your amateur gay porn career, but maybe we need to strap it down and go get drunk once in a while. How will that hurt us?

So, four years after we started it, three and a half years after we launched it to the public, we bid a fond farewell to the Wall Lounge. The Staff thanks all you loyal Loungers for your support.

I know there will be some point a few weeks from now when I learn that D.O.A. 2 has been green-lighted (how do you not make a sequel to a movie that good? The first one left so many unanswered questions. Like, did Eric Roberts’ hair survive?) and I’ll be excited to share the news, only to realize that I no longer have a forum to post such exciting happenings. But let’s not be sad. Let’s remember The Wall and The Wall Lounge for what it was. Kick. Fucking. Ass. And for the love of God, do not stop wearing blazers. They will never go out of style.

As we close the doors on The Wall Lounge, we can always hope that someday, somewhere, The Wall will rise again. See you in 2012.

Operation 33.


Be sexy like Reynolds and visit The Wall Lounge Archives.